Hi all – so here we go my final blog.

I would also like to start of by giving the biggest thank you to Seetal for allowing me to share maternity/paternity leave giving me this opportunity and being so supportive and positive and not criticising me once on my methods (lol). I think she may end up writing the real blog and uncover me and some of my interesting parenting techniques. A huge thanks to every single one of you reading this blog and especially family and friends for all your support including Helen who gave me the kick up the arse I needed to write this blog on our trip to Chessington.

As many of you know I returned to work today after having spent the last 7 months at home with Zara and Reuben. It has been an ok 1st day back but I have to admit there have been several points where I could very easily have had a puddle of tears on my desk. However, not tears of sadness but those of true happiness. Up until today I had tried very hard to keep myself busy and not think about returning to work and I had been successful. It wasn’t hard at times with looking after the kids and arranging Zara’s first birthday party. This has been a good thing as I have been able to enjoy every single second of my paternity leave without thinking about work. Work is not bad but it was more about the fact that I have had the best 7 months ever. Feelings similar to those from my childhood of those amazing summer holiday and trips abroad to see family in Costa Rica, never wanting them to end. True joy!

Today I have heard a few songs on the radio that have taken me back to April (start of my paternity leave) where we spent the most awesome month in Cyprus and Crete, getting to spend the most precious time with Seetal, Zara and Reuben. Zara was only 6 months old and not able to crawl and eat food and had only a few strands of hair making her look like a baby version of the dude from the Hamlet cigar commercial (google it if your not sure:-)). Meeting new friends like the Bibovski family from Denmark and the Patels from London. Ed Sheeran’s photograph also brought me close to tears bringing back fab memories of time spent at fun places like Alton Towers with Uncle Amit and Kieran.

This time has had its ups and downs as life does have. The interrupted sleeps, cold tea, the vomiting in restaurants and in pubs the best being Zara showing appreciation of her aunties jumper by projectile vomiting over auntie Na (Leena) at the Belvedere arms for mums bday. The chaotic, manic, messy, sweaty mornings getting both kids ready for nursery and school. No lie, I have to wear a t-shirt up until I have both kids dressed and in their coats and shoes otherwise I am sweating like a pig. This is topped off by Reuben telling me that he is hungry (2 minutes into the car journey) and that “I” didn’t give him enough breakfast and how he is “never going to have any food again ever” oh and that he now needs a wee.  This coupled with Zara crying because Reuben has snatched the car keys from her (the ones I gave her to keep quiet in the first place) because its “dangerous” for her. My emotions have definitely been tested – the most sensitive time being at the end of the day when I am shattered. The other week I have both Reuben and his nephew Jackson downstairs whilst I am upstairs trying to put Zara to bed. Just as Zara is drifting I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, with Zara’s eyes closed, the door of her bedroom opens and there stands Reuben pulling Jackson with one hand and in the other hand is a kiwi. A flaming Kiwi, that Reuben has wanted all evening so he can eat while he watches “Porn Patrol” (as Reuben likes to call Paw Patrol – a kids cartoon). Zara’s eyes open!

These are the memories I will treasure and the last month has also seen Zara start nursery. Its funny as having already been through it with Reuben I never thought that my heart would sink the day I took Zara to Nursery. She is old enough now to work out exactly what I was doing and she clung on to me wrapping her legs round me and burying her head into my chest with an almighty cry when I tried to hand her over. I did feel bad and sad walking away looking at that little tiny innocent face saying all she wants is a cuddle and to be with daddy or mummy. Picking her up the first few times wasn’t easy either – her face had that “where the f**k have you been” look accompanied by the tears of loneliness. Fortunately, Zara has settled after 3 weeks of being at nursery and just in time for me to return to work without feeling too bad.

These last 7 months have given me experiences I will never forget and created the best memories from watching the brand new series of Danger Mouse with Reuben and being asked to give a talk on Diwali to Reuben’s nursery to making the everlasting strong, loving bond with my beautiful daughter. I love you darling.

For those of you that haven’t seen – I put together a short video – see below. Zara – this is for you.

Zara video

All – a big thank you once again for your kind words and support. I would not have written these blogs had it not been for you and now Zara and Reuben will have a little memory that they can read when they are older.

Thank you….